I am a Retard
I had a LAN party on Saturday/Sunday, which is why I am only able to update on Tuesday (today). At said LAN, while playing Warcraft III (the only game we can consistently get to work), we discovered a nice multiplayer map called “Are you a Retard?”. It was fantastically fun for about an hour, and provided a nice change of pace from playing melees or some varient thereof. However, we quickly became frustrated, and abandoned it before we were able to finish. Below is my description and walkthrough of about half of the map.
The map opens with all (four, in this instance) players on a raised platform. The only path available is to the south. On the ground are gold coins. If you pick one up, you die. If you try to get one of the free items from the store, you die. If you start attacking your teammates out of frustration, you die. If you die, you get a message telling you to type “-res” to be revived; if you do, you are ejected from the game.
Continue south, then east along the corridor. You’ll come to a gate. You will receive very strong hints to pick up the key next to it; if you do, you die. (I might as well mention this now: if you pick up any item, you die.) Wait for a specific (in-game) time, and the gate will become vulnerable. Bust it and proceed.
The area you are in now will have two colors of flame to the north and a glowing pad to the south. Step on the pad and you die. It’ll be hinted that you should walk through the red flames, and a little guinea-pigging should confirm that. Next area has many flowers, which the game tells you that you will need to pass through the patch of blue flowers. This is nonesense; just click through.
Do NOT go through the “Exit”.
Bash through the gate, you’ll come to two paths. The north path will lead to an encounter with a horse that will kill you all. The southern path will lead to an encounter with an Orge that will only kill one of you if you pass it around 6:20 (game time.)
Pass through the entryway, go south (north will get you killed), you’ll see a 4×4 grid. Step only on the grid squares (stepping on the dirt will make you explode.) Step only in the pattern South, East, South, East, South, East and you’ll make it through the maze. Again, do not step on the dirt or buy anything from the shop. Stay on the white line through the goblins and the Naga (though you can go around them, slightly), and go north when you’re out of the water.
Do not go through any of the gates. Wait, and the brown trees will disintegrate, clearing a path. Pass the first acolyte and click on the second. You’ll be teleported to another part of the map. DO NOT CLICK IT^^. Continue east, then south. You’ll come upon another grid. Just take the middle row of gray tiles south.
We’d only gotten to this spot once. While in WorldEdit, it shows three green Treents, I clearly saw two red ones before Stephen bit the dust.
What happens here? I don’t know. I guess I’m too much of a retard to find out.
(Oh, yes, we did think of looking in WorldEdit for clues and such, but a good portion of the trigger names were in German.)