Chuck-ese

…and I’ve had feelings for her for a long time, right? She’s my go-to girl; if I’m having a bad day or a problem or am just being unneccesarily emo, a few minutes of talking to her or IMing her later she’s put me right back on top of the world. She’s kind, she conciously seeks to improve herself, she’s smart, she’s beautiful, she is the perfect girl. During one of my cheer-up sessions (related to my lack of success with the ladies), she told me that if she “knew what she know now [when we had the conversation, a month or so ago] what she did when I initially asked her out [a couple of years ago], she would have said yes.” This sent a wave of joy through my heart, until the cold reality that she was dating a friend of mine came crashing in. I’m not the sort to steal a girl from a fellow man, I’ve had that happen to me too many times. Well anyway, that relationship came to a premature end due to some rather poor decisions made by said friend. I was at once glad and sad: glad for the newfound opportunity, sad for her loss. We spoke shortly after it happened, and she was devistated; this moved the “glad” emotion far to the back and any attempts to swoop down on her were shelved in the interests of human decency. She got better, and just as I was preparing to make my move, I get signals from her that indicate that she’s interested in another of my friends. I have no idea what to make of this. If I make some kind of effort to figure out what’s going on, I will either a) spook her or b) make her think I’m the jealous type, which I’m usually not (I like to think), and either way things will be weird between me and her and the aforementioned close friend. However, if I don’t find out, I’ll have the weight of uncertainty burdening my heart, like a midget sitting on my chest. I have no idea what I’m going to do, but it’s going to end up badly in any case.

He denies anything is going on, but if I heard him correctly they are at his house right now (11:00) watching a movie.