Chuck-ese

17-August-2008

The Monster in the Bottle Bin

Filed under: Weird Stuff-ology, Work — admin0 @ 7:18 pm

It was awful. It was unexpected. It came out of a bottle of Parrot Bay. It was*…The Monster in the Bottle Bin!

I was sorting bottles one day, clear in one bin, colored in another. In my collating, I sighted up a clear glass bottle, probably of Parrot Bay, that looked like it had some sort of translucent object in it. I thought it was a tissue someone had jammed in the bottle. (People tend to jam all sorts of things in glass bottles before they recycle them. DO NOT DO THIS.) As I picked up the bottle, the translucent object–which was as big around as the base of the bottle–came alive. Where I had only before seen blurry white, I now saw legs, spines, a pair of claws or pincers, and other things that make you go “eww…” It contracted itself enough that it could slither through the neck of the bottle, eject itself onto the cover of the clear-bottle bin, and scurry under the lid.

I was able to get a better look at it in the fraction of a second it was in the air. It looked somewhat like a scorpion without a tail, or an albino porcupine-lobster. Either way, I wasn’t fucking going near that bin until it was changed. I initially thought I was hallucinating, but I wasn’t going to take any chances.
I never saw that creature again, but it lives in my mind ever still.  That night, I went up north with some friends, and recounted the story to them. They had about the same reaction I did. It’s been about a month since I saw Lucifer’s spawn itself, yet the whole incident still chills me to the bone.

Oh, before I forget, a friend suggested that what I saw might be a silverfish. While it does have the same Satanic vibe about it, neither the silverfish or the house centipede have the claws/pincers I think I saw.

And what-the-fuck row 2 picture 4?

Bernie Mac and Chef Die; Obama last celebrity on Earth.

Filed under: Uncategorized — admin0 @ 6:23 pm

Bernie Mac

Isaac Hayes

Running Tally

Straight Dope Message Board Celebrity Death Pool

This shit is getting morbid. I feel like I should be creating a “death” category.

And I’m being ironic in the last half of the title.

4-August-2008

Clerical Work

Filed under: Weird Stuff-ology — admin0 @ 1:25 pm

I was able to quickly fix the numbering glitch in my May Day Mystery notes that I mentioned here through a judicious deletion of an entry that wasn’t a page ad (2-February-1988). I also fixed the error in the numbering system in the Recent Developments section where some packages/letters had the same number.

1-August-2008

A Book!

Filed under: Writing, Weird Stuff-ology — admin0 @ 8:38 pm

I have decided to undertake a serious project. I will expand upon my senior project, writing a book that will delve into the May Day Mystery and bring the enigma to the general public. It will touch not only upon aspects of the Mystery but also upon those who took it upon themselves to solve the Mystery.

I’ve got a list of titles stocked up:

Raiders of SDB #668. (A play on Raiders of the Lost Ark.)
Bryan Hance and the Last Crusade. (A play on Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.)
The Wildcat Code. (Based on The DaVinici Code.)
Luther’s Pendulum. (Foucault’s Pendulum.)
Historical Madness. (The subtitle to the “official” May Day Mystery website.)
Methods of Madness: A Simplified Approach to the May Day Mystery. (Something  my friend Ryan suggested.)

This is going to be a huge project, and we all know how I am with projects…

I promise I will not fail you this time, though we all know how I am with promises…

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